Super Hetalia Bros
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: Alfred and Matthew were just playing Mario Kart Wii whenever the idea popped up in Alfred's head - if they weren't nations but Mario characters were, who would be who? WARNING: Weirdness and probably not matching characters, human and country names used
1. What If?

****OH MY GOSH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I AM SHAKING SO BAD RIGHT NOW! I know this story might not be really popular... but oh well, I'm gonna upload it in case if anyone wants to read a Hetalia: Axis Powers and Super Mario crossover ON TOTAL CRACK! Oh my gosh it is such a good idea I'm gonna die! (LOL JK) So... enjoy this, flames will be burned with green fire and murdered with a hockey stick – and then fed poison mushrooms. ****

Alfred and I were playing one of his games on the Wii, Mario Kart, and so far he and I were tied with 60 points each. He was playing Mario ("He's awesome, because he's the hero and he gets to rescue a princess and get laid every time!" "How do you know he gets laid, _every_ time?" "Because he's the fucking hero!") and I was Luigi, ("Well, I'm gonna be Luigi, because he's always forgotten and neglected and preferred over his brother by everyone else." "Whatever!").

We were racing on Daisy circuit (My favorite because Luigi is in a statue with a pretty Princess) whenever Alfred paused the game and looked at me, "I know I might sound like a game nerd right now, but oh well... if we weren't representative of our countries but Mario characters were... how do you think it'd work out?"

"Hmm..." I kept the wheel in my hands, ready incase Alfred was doing this to trick me into not driving and getting past me, "... I think it'd be kinda... weird."

"Well, set your wheel down and let's talk about it!" Alfred tossed his wheel into the chair next to him, while I gingerly handed my wheel to Kumajiro.

"OK... who would be us?" I asked.

"Mario and Luigi!" Alfred punched the air with his fist, "It's-a me! Alfred!"

I laughed, "No, I don't think so..."

"Why not!"

"Well..." I laughed, "Mario and Luigi are the main characters in their series... and in ours it's Feliciano."

"Ve~?" Feliciano walked in, "Are you talking about me?"

"Yeah." Alfred said, "We're trying to figure out which Mario character would be us if they were the countries."

"Ve~!" Feliciano laughed, "I would be Luigi!"

"How could you be Luigi?" I spat, Kumajiro handing me back a wheel that was a bit chewed up.

"OK, let me compare him and myself – one, we're both Italian, two, we're both scaredy cats, and three, we're adorable!" Feliciano made a face, blinking at us.

I looked at my character as well as I could from the pause menu, "Hmm..."

Can you imagine it?

Luigi prancing around going; "Ve~! Pasta! Ah! It's the English army, run!"

I laughed and shook my head, "OK, who would be your brother?"

"Romano?" Feliciano cocked his head, "I guess..."

"Mario!" Lovino walked in, "I call Mario, because he gets to rescue a princess! And he's red, like a tomato!"

Alfred laughed while slapping his knee, "Really? But he's a hero! Like me!"

"Yeah, but he doesn't boast about it! And besides," the Italians looked at each other, then looked at us and said simultaneously, "They're Italian!"

"Alright fine! Mario and Luigi represent, Italy!" Alfred called out.

"Who would be England?" I asked.

"Eyebrows?" Alfred looked at me, "You want to include Eyebrows?"

"Yes." I said.

"Ve~! This seems like an interesting discussion!" Feliciano pulled out his phone, "We must have a world meeting on this!"

"You idiot! It's not that important!" Lovino snatched away Feliciano's phone.

"But fratello!"

"No!"

I went to say something, but Alfred cut me off, "Call a world meeting, everyone will claim a Mario character!"

* * *

So, a world meeting was called, and Alfred presented the issue.

"Are you stupid?" Arthur stood up, "This is childish! Foolish!"

"Aw, c'mon Arthur!" Alfred waved his hand at him, "It's just for fun!"

Even Ludwig agreed with Alfred.

"Alright, fine!" Arthur spat, "Who am I then?"

"You can be Toadsworth." I snickered, "Because you both are old and you both act like gentleman, and you both have wands that you wave around. Only Toadsworth can wave his around and give you mushrooms."

"That's what she said." Peter snorted.

"Shut it!"

'There we have it! Arthur's Mario counterpart is Toadsworth!"

Feliks stood up, "Like, can I be Princess Peach? She has, like, everything pink, and I, like, love pink!"

Everyone stared at him before agreeing, "Sure, Feliks can be saved by Lovino whenever he gets kidnapped... by..."

I stood up, "Who wants to be Bowser?"

"I will." Ivan stood up, "Because I am big, intimidating, and I want to rule – I mean, well, yeah."

Lovino curled up in his chair, "Feliks can save his own ass!"

"Like, not cool! Why can't, like, Liet be Mario?"

All eyes turned to Toris, who blinked at us before saying, "Because I want to be Princess Daisy."

"What?" I asked, "Princess Daisy?"

"She's Luigi's version of Peach." Alfred said, "So, Daisy represents Lithuania?"

"She stands no chance against Bowser, da." Ivan smiled.

"Wait!" Alfred waved his arms around, "She was kidnapped by Tanaka... Tanoki... Ta..." he sighed, "Kiku! How do you pronounce his name?"

Kiku sat up and promptly said, "Tatanga."

"Thank you, Tatanga! Who's gonna be that guy, hm? He kidnapped Daisy!"

Everyone glanced around at one another.

"Well..." I said, "Daisy... well, I don't know much about Daisy..."

Japan sat straight again, "Princess Daisy appeared in Super Mario Land, Sarasaland was the kingdom she ruled and it is split up into four kingdoms. Tatanga kidnapped Daisy in order to rule this land and soon after the world but Mario saved the Princess and stopped the plan."

"Dude, two Princesses!" Alfred looked at me, "Luigi, zip!"

"So..." Feliks said, "Who wants Liet's vital regions... aside from me?"

Im Yong Soo stood up, "I wanna be the alien!"

"OK, you are Tange... tat... To..."

"Tatanga."

"Thank you!" Alfred nodded at Kiku. "Who do you want to be Kiku?"

Said Japanese was silent for a minute or two, "Is... Waluigi, taken?"

"Waluigi?" Francis said, "Non! I want to be Waluigi!"

"Why?" Everyone questioned.

"Because, he never gets any attention, and I feel that if I am Waluigi he will get attention."

"That means..." Arthur started, "...you're some tall lanky guy that is a Luigi knock-off."

"Ve~! I don't want knock offs!" Feliciano cried.

"Who's Ludwig gonna be?" I asked while looking at the German.

He turned red, "I'm – I'm – I'm that one Bomb-Omb from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! The general! General White!"

"Ve~ no Ludwig for me..."

"Oh! I know who I wanna be!" Elizaveta stood up, "I wanna be that one girl... oh! I know! I wanna be –"

"Seriously?" Roderich asked, "You want to join in this childish madness to?"

"Of course!" Elizaveta smiled, "I'm Toadette!"

"Um... I wanted to be Toad..." Raivis called from his corner, "Toad's... kinda cool."

"OK then!" I said, "Elizaveta and Raivis are siblings!"

Roderich sighed, "I guess I'll be that one Koopa from that one game... wait, was it a koopa?"

"Who?" Alfred asked, "What game are you referring to?"

"I'll be that one ghost who played the piano in Luigi's Mansion, Melody. Only because she played music."

"Oh, we can include Luigi's mansion ghosts?" Peter asked, "Cool! I'm the freaky baby that made Luigi small! Chauncy? Was that his name?"

"I'm E. Gadd." Eduard said, "All because he's funny and all, I like him."

"So the Baltic Nations are Daisy, Toad, and E. Gadd?" I asked.

"We're completely different." The Baltics all said at the same time.

"Oh, well, I want to be that one ghost, aru." Yao stood up, "You know, that ghost that was like, 'Gaweheheh!"

"King Boo?" Alfred asked.

"Yes!" Yao laughed.

"I guess I'll be a Boo then." Kiku muttered.

The other Asians said that they would be Boos as well.

"This is stupid." Vash said, "But... I guess I'll be Yoshi."

"Can I be Birdo?" Liechtenstein poked her brother's shoulder and asked.

"Whatever."

"Oh, oh!" Ivan's sister, Katyusha, stood up (_Boing!_) "I want to be Rosalina!"

"She and you have nothing in common." Belarus snapped.

"I don't care!" Katyusha answered, "And you can be the luma!"

"Fine, I'm a fucking luma." Natalia waved her arms around.

* * *

So, after a while, things started to get interesting, and for some reason Berwald wrote down a story plot line thingy with the Mario characters as we called them to be:

_It is WWI_

_A Bomb-Omb German General is walking through the forest, looking for the descendant of Rome – North Italy – who he is supposed to be fighting. He comes upon a box that says, "Mushrooms" on the front, and from inside he hears, "Ve~! I am-a the Mushroom-a Fairy! Don't open the box, go away!"_

_The general opens the box and out pops the Italian inside, "Ve~! I'm sorry I'm not the Mushroom Fairy please don't kill me I'm actually a plumber and I have to go fix someone's pipes soon!"_

_In the background, Bowser the Russian invades Polish Princess _("Make it a prince!" "Ah'm, Pr'nce")_ Peach's castle and kidnaps him after knocking out the English man Toadsworth. _

"_Like, not cool! Like, let me go! Like, someone help?" She calls._

_Bowser the Russian passes by an Italian plumber by the name of Mario the South Italian – who sighs and tosses his half eaten tomato aside and goes to fight the Russian._

_In the meantime, the Baltics – Toad the Latvian, E. Gadd the Estonian, and Princess Daisy the Lithuanian – all stand off to the side and shake in fear of the ever powerful Russian that ruled them._

_Bowser set down the Princess _("Prince! Get it right you Swedish – ow! Like, Tino that hurt!") _and went to fight the challenging Italian, who stumbles back in fear and calls for Donkey Kong the Spanish to save him – thus ends up with Bowser fighting Donkey Kong._

"_Like hi! I'm Princess _("Prince!")_ Peach, like, who are you?" The captive asks, pointing at the Lithuanian Daisy._

"_I'm Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, it's in Lithuania." She answered, "Wanna be friends?"_

"_Like, BFF's!" replies Peach._

_Then, Luigi the Northern Italian wins a contest he didn't enter saying he won a pasta factory – but it was haunted. He told his brother about it and his brother went and got himself trapped in a boiler that was sitting inside the factory for some reason, and King Boo the Chinese held him captive with the help of his Taiwanese, Japanese, and other Asian Boos._

"_Haha! I have captured one brother, aru!" he flew around in triumph._

_So Luigi goes in with the help of a vacuum cleaner that sucks up ghosts that E. Gadd the Estonian made. _

_He goes to suck up Melody the Austrian because she is playing a weird piano whenever Waluigi the French bursts in and says, "Ah, there you are, Luigi! Weheheheh... time for you to come with me, Mon ami!"_

"_What the, Ve~! Doitsu Bomb save me!" Luigi cries as Waluigi picks him up and carries him away to have some good _(Insert bleep for Peter's ears) _with Toadette the Hungarian yaoi obsessed woman and a Japanese Boo following with a camera. _

_In the meantime Chauncy the freaky Sealandic baby ghost came out and wailed until Melody the Austrian ghost babied him until he calmed down, because the English Toad was to worried about getting Princess _("For the last, like, fucking time, it's prince!") _Peach home after she came and rescued Mario the Southern Italian herself._

_Then, Daisy the Lithuanian and Toad the Latvian saw his Hungarian sister following Waluigi the French – and everyone knew if that was happening Waluigi was invading someone's vital regions. "Oh no! My sister is going to record Luigi the Northern Italian being effed by Waluigi the French!"_

"_Not on my watch!" Daisy – who had a huge crush on Luigi – said, calling the help of Rosalina the Ukrainian (_Boing!) _and her Belarusian lumas to help her rescue the Italian. _

_In the background Bowser the Russian sat defeated under Donkey Kong the Spanish and Diddy Kong the Mexican._

_Then, Mario the Southern Italian and Princess _("If you call me Princess on more time I swear I will – Tino quit hitting me!") _Peach rode by on Yoshi the Swiss and his sister Birdo from Liechtenstein happily married while Toadsworth the English cried in his chair._

_OK, back to Luigi and Waluigi – who were now inside a French hotel, and Waluigi the French was about to start the foreplay whenever the Belarusian lumas flew in and started to attack him – thanks to Rosalina the Ukrainian following the men._

_Daisy the Lithuanian jumped into the room, grabbed Luigi the North Italian's arm, and ran out to Birdo from Liechtenstein to take them home._

_Then Luigi asked Daisy to marry him and Waluigi the French died from Francis the French screwing him a lot. And Bowser the Russian went to terrorize the townspeople. End._

* * *

Aside from Feliks piping up saying that he wanted Peach to be a guy, the story was actually enjoyful.

"Cool story bro!" Alfred patted Berwald on the back, "Although Matthew and I don't have a Mario character."

"Oh well." I shrugged, "I guess I'll be Dry Bones."

"Cool! I'll be a pokey!"

Thus, started us arguing who would be a better enemy. But, hey, it made for an interesting story, right Luigi – I mean Kumajiro?

"Why am I wearing Luigi's clothes?"

"Because I want you to."

****I apologise from the crackiness in this chapter, but the next one isn't as bad, hopefuly. ****OK, so, sorry about Daisy being Lithuanian, as matter of fact I actually had some characters planned out to chose Mario characters before I started to type this, and Yoshi was originally going to be Estonia – IDK why. But, doesn't Poland picking Peach sound just right? I mean, she's all pink, and Feliks **_**loves**_** pink. And of course the Italian Bros. get to be the... uh, Italian Bros. I might continue this, I might make Sweden Petey the Piranha Plant! OK now I'll go type my Australia story and what not. ****


	2. They Come From MK

****After a few months of writer's block and being lazy, I've finally decided to write the second chapter, if not more, for this story. I hope you enjoy it at the least. If you don't like any of the characters in here, suck Prussia's five meters. ****

I was trying to improve my Mario Party 8 skills whenever Alfred came bursting into my house, looking like a mad man.

Well, he more or rather less came up to my house, knocked down my door, scared Kumajiro to death, ran into the TV room, scared me to death, and ruined my perfect game by snatching me up and hugging me close to him.

"Mattie! Mattie, thank goodness you're OK!" Alfred panted, hugging me tightly, "I thought Bowser got ahold of you!"

"Alfred, I'm fi-" I paused, thinking about what he just said, "Bowser? Alfred, he's just a video game character. What's the matter?"

"We called another world meeting, and you weren't there! Matthew, this is a _serious_ meeting! Hurry, before they find us again!"

"Who?"

"Them!" Alfred dragged me out, pointing at the TV, "_Them!_ They're after us Matthew, after us!"

I stared blankly at the screen, seeing my character – Luigi, ever so humble – and some of my rivaling characters in the game – Mario, Daisy, and Waluigi, of course – just sitting there. "How can they be after us Alfred? They're just computer programmed characters in a game."

"I'll explain later! You didn't come to the first meeting, you're hosting it now!" Alfred literally dragged me out of the house, Kumajiro lazily following behind as we piled into his car and drove to the meeting building in Ontario.

* * *

"Get your arses in here now!"

"Thank goodness you're back safely, mon cher."

"Ve~!"

"W-what's going on?" I asked, looking around the room at all of my fellow nations, all of them either glaring at me or looking outside through the windows.

"Let me explain." Ludwig pushed to the front, "It seems that England was trying to summon a demon again – most likely to get Russia – but instead got..." he sighed, "... I hate to say it, the super Mario characters."

I stared at Germany for a minute, looking over at Arthur, then at Papa France, then Alfred, and down at Kumajiro – taking in what Ludwig just told me – before I started to giggle.

"What's so funny about it!" Arthur yelled. "They're after us all!"

I snorted before laughing hard, trying to speak but ending up laughing right as I about made actual words. "Y-you guys, y-you guys, are just playing – playing a really stupid, but funny joke, right?" I continued to laugh until Alfred clapped a hand over my mouth.

"We're not." He said, using his rarely ever heard serious voice. "If Germany's here talking about it, it isn't a joke, Mattie."

I stopped laughing; feeling bad for thinking this _was_ a joke. "Sorry..." I whispered.

"It's alright. I thought it was a joke too until I saw one of the Koopa Troopas coming right at me." Alfred looked aorund the room, "Now, is everyone here!"

"All accounted for!" Peter said.

"Even the non-nations?" Arthur whined.

Gilbert stood up, "I take that offensively!"

Ludwig coughed before ordering everyone to take a seat, adding that this was a serious meeting.

Things got to the point right away whenever Ludwig said, "We all need to figure out how to deal with these people before we can go out and get them back to their world. Any ideas?"

A few people raised their hands, including Alfred.

"We'll start with Feliciano." Ludwig nodded at the Italian, I think he only chose him to go first because they were (ahem, _not_ seriously) dating.

Italy stood up, coughing before saying; "Ve~, I think if we all offer them pasta they'll cooperate with us!"

I stood up, knowing most of the characters best – along with Japan – "That might only work with Mario, maybe Luigi. But not with all of them!"

"But if their main character is going somewhere, the rest may follow." Alfred piped up.

Ludwig seemed to be thinking before saying, "That might be our plan if I don't hear any other good ones. Next, Francis."

France stood up, smiling as he said, "I say we all convince them to go to Paris, there we can lock them in the Eiffel Tower and Angleterre can hocus-pocus them back to where they belong."

"I'm not going to France, you git!" England shouted.

Germany sighed, "Next, Russia."

Everyone turned to Ivan, stiffening as he started to speak (well, aside from Belarus, who was hugging him without him knowing it), "They could all become one with me, then they can stay in my house until I get sick of them and then I'll send them somewhere else." He shrugged, "It's a temporary solution."

"But we need a _permanent_ solution!" I whined.

"I agree with Canada!" Denmark stood up, "Which is why I think England – who is the one who brought them all here – should get them to London and get them back that way!"

"It's always _my fault_ isn't it?" England stood up. "That isn't going to work unless we get them all to –"

As usual, every one started to bicker and argue. But it only went on for a few minutes before I stood up and yelled, "Let Japan tell us how to deal with them! He plays a lot of games!"

Everyone quieted down, looking over at Kiku – waiting for him to speak. I don't see why they didn't talk to him first, Kiku's the one who plays all the games and knows the characters best, second followed by America.

He hummed in thought, "Either we go with Italy-Kun's plan, or we kidnap their princesses and lure them all to England's home, other then that I can't think of any other idea."

I sighed, looking out the window closest to me as some countries started to talk about how they could improve one of Kiku's plans.

And there, standing below where I was looking, were some of the characters we were talking about. I could see some Koopa Troopas running towards the building.

I gasped, "K-Koopa Troopas! They're coming in!"

Instead of ignoring me, everyone started to panic. Well, Ludwig and Vash just walked to the door and peeked through it. Switzerland had a gun in his hand, poking the barrel through the door while he said something to Ludwig, and fired it.

Everyone took cover under the tables and chairs, Alfred yanked me under with him.

"There, they won't come bothering us." I heard Switzerland say.

"No, there's more." Germany said, I heard him duck under the table hurriedly.

There were a couple more gunshots before Vash slammed the door closed and cuss, "I'm out of bullets."

"How could you be out? You always have a million with you!" I heard Gilbert yell.

"I left them at home!" Chairs slammed against each other as Switzerland ducked under the table with us.

It was quiet for a minute before the doors to the meeting room slammed open, and there were – surprisingly – no other sounds aside from the Troopas walking inside.

"Are you sure he said here?"

"Yes I'm sure, I'm not deaf."

"Last time you got us stuck in Paris."

"That was not Paris, that was London."

"Shut up both of you, it was Washington D.C."

I looked up from where I had my face buried in the carpet, seeing that the cute little tablecloths they put on the meeting tables were hiding us quite well.

"I don't think they're here."

"The chairs are all messed up, as if they all ran away."

"Bowser's gonna take over this world, I'm telling you."

"Unless of course Mario is there to save the day!"

"I'd love to shoot him. Didn't he end up in Italy?"

"The southern part."

I heard Romano scoff.

"What was that?"

"That was your shoe scuffing."

I saw one of the Troopas stop in front of where I was, "They're not here. Hey, maybe they all left in a hurry."

"Whatever you say boss."

I grit my teeth before shooting out from beneath my table, grabbing the Troopa that stood in front of me while giving my war cry. Kumajiro followed behind loyally, biting down on the Troopa's leg.

"AUCSH! I'm down! I'm down!" he cried kicking me and Kuma.

I growled and sat on him while the other two Koopas came around, holding sticks at me.

"Whoa, is he one of them?" one koopa asked.

"Hey, are you a nation?" the other spat.

"Yes I am." I replied, "I'm Canada."

"Where are the others then?"

"We're not scared of you, for one!" I yelled.

Then, Italy shot out from the left side, tackling down the koopa closest to him, while from the other side Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia took down the other. All the other nations crawled out slowly, keeping on their war faces as well as they could.

The koopas looked at all of us in fright, "O-OK, there _are _more then I thought there were going to be!"

"Exactly!" I spat, "Now, state why you are looking for us!"

"W-which one of you called _us here!_"

"I did." Arthur said, "On accident."

"Great, now you have to get us back –"

"I know I do."

"And everyone else!"

"If we knew where they were!"

One of the koopas laughed sheepishly, "Um, we're all over the planet..."

"What?" America stood up, "You mean all of you guys are all over the Earth, in each country?"

The koopa sighed, "Yes, let me go."

"No!" Italy cried.

"Look..." The koopa that I sat on said, "...I don't like it here, but we can't get everyone else because we don't know this place very well. Maybe if you guys all went and got our people and –"

"Wait, wait." I said, "If _we_ went? Why don't you three split up with the rest of your troopa friends!"

"Because we're the only three that came here!" The koopa the Baltics held whined.

"Ahem." Ludwig got everyone's attention. "Let me summarize. You're saying that everyone of your characters –"

"Each one is in a different country –"

"– and you can't go get them –"

"- because we'd get lost and confused – "

"- so we go fetch them all –"

"-take us all to that man with the huge eyebrows' place –"

"Hey!"

"- and send all of you back home."

"Yes."

All of us were quiet for a moment, the countries probably thinking about this like I was.

"We'll do it." Alfred said. "Tell us where every one is, so we know who to look for."

* * *

****:D I think I'm gonna be adding more chapters. It would make a good outcome! I hope you will come back and read more, when I get stuff up.****


	3. Pokeys In The United States of America

****We are gonna start with America, and guess what he has to catch? ****

"It's all Arthur's fault. Every single bit of it is Arthur's fault."

"Mr. America, we have a group of pokeys at ten o' clock!"

I pivoted in said direction, looking out for those stupid pokeys that somehow ended up in my country. Just because I claimed them didn't mean I had to deal with them. Well, I guess I could, seeing as how I'm the only one heroic enough to actually try and get these things.

"Mr. America, from my past experience playing Super Mario Games, I think you must jump on their heads or throw a shell at them." Said one of my Security dudes over the headset speaker, "Unless you have a better idea."

I laughed, "I'm not supposed to _kill_ them, just catch them and take them to London." I peeked through some bushes, looking at the bunch of pokeys that were – hopefully, the only ones – exploring and terrorizing animals in my Great Smoky Mountains National Park, in North Carolina. (Man, NC was freaking out when she saw those pokeys in one of her parks).

"Well, I'm sending a helicopter your way, anything I need to send on it?"

"A huge container, they're kinda tall. About as tall as..." I cocked my head, taking a mental measurement. "...some are as tall as a one story house, others shorter."

"OK sir."

I took off my headset while leaning back from my bush, sighing and trying to think of a plan. From my gaming experience, if you got poked by a pokey it was fatal – to Mario. I don't wanna know what would happen if it was me, I don't want to shrink or fall under ground while fail music plays while I'm in excrutiating pain.

I think there were also different breeds of pokeys, but I didn't see any other color in the bunch that I was looking at. They all looked like those pokeys you encounter in the desert stages – and in a couple of Mario Kart tracks.

With a sigh, I pulled out my packet of pokey information that I printed off the Mario Wiki to give me some help. I skimmed through it, quickly tossing aside a paper that told the first game where pokeys appeared. I groaned whenever I didn't find anything much else useful, this was frustrating!

"Curse it, none of this is useful information, I may as well go ahead and take them down like they're –"

One of the pokeys had poked its head out of the bush I had just used to spy on its group, and was now eyeing me like I was its next meal. It made a strange sound, the other pokeys doing the same thing as they all started to come over to me.

I had to think of a plan, fast, like a true hero! I backed up against the nearest tree and looked through my packet again, quickly alternating glances at the paper and the pokeys that were all closing in on me.

Then, I saw the sentence; _Some pokeys don't like to fight, but would rather chase after or spin out something on a kart, which is why they are in the way of some desert Mario Kart Race tracks – don't like speed unless they are able to chase at the pace._

My eyes lit up, this was it! I could run around the place until my helicopter arrived! I set my packet down next to the tree, getting up slowly while looking at the pokeys. "Hey, poke, poke, pokey!" I sang, "Wanna chase me?"

All of the pokeys seemed to straighten up and made their strange sounds after I said "Chase", and then they started to wiggle fiercely.

"OK, I'm gonna run, and when I get past that tree, you can start chasing me, OK?" I asked, "Good."

Then, I pivoted and started to run, hearing the pokeys giving chase after me, making excited noises. I ran in a circle around where the pokeys were when I first saw them, occasionally cutting across the middle to get behind the group – only for them to turn around and come after me.

I'm telling you, they're kinda slow. I ran a good thirty minutes before I had to jog just to keep them amused. But I couldn't walk; I figured this out whenever I tried to walk across my circle. They came flying out after me, and one of them about got my arm.

"Dang, if I knew this was going to happen; I would have brought one of my Olympic runners with me." I hissed, hiding behind a tree for a quick break, "They won't stop!"

"Alfred? Mr. Alfred?"

I saw my ditched headset sitting next to the bush from earlier. Seeing the pokeys coming, I started running again, snatching up the headset and putting it on, "This is America!" I panted, "I'm being chased by the pokeys, and it's the only way to keep their attention!"

"Good job Mr. America." The guard replied, "We're about to land our helicopter, start running east in nine feet."

I did as was told; pointing at where I was going to run to the pokeys would keep up with me. I heard their excited calls, some of them growling as they about tripped over each other. I looked over my shoulder, laughing at how they "ran"; wiggling as they moved – it was quite funny. Kinda like Arthur did whenever Jack dropped a spider down his pants one meeting, that's how they were wiggling.

"Mr. America, you are going past us, turn west a few degrees."

"Like this?" I ran on the left side of a tree that was in front of me.

"That's good, Mr. America."

One of the pokeys was right on my heels; I felt the bottom of my shoes being stratched against from the little spikes. I started to jump forward, trying to find as many logs as I could to slow the group down a little.

"We are right in front of you, Mr. America." I looked ahead, seeing the container I had requested, open and a few men waiting next to it. "Do as you wish to get these pokeys inside."

I entered the clearing, "Start running around, and get one of them to chase you!"

Sure enough, the pokeys started chasing after everyone else, and one by one we slowly got them into the container.

One of the pokeys, maybe a slow one, entered the clearing just as we got the penultimate pokey inside. It looked tired, and it was making strange wheezing sounds, and it was shorter then I was. The eyes were turning red, and the pokey was shaking.

"Oh dear..." one of the females from the helicopter above spoke to me through my headset, "...what's wrong with it?"

"Maybe it's tired out." I mumbled.

The pokey fell onto the ground, giving a few wheezes that made me shiver.

The other pokeys started making weird noises from the container, a few wiggled out to their fallen member, managing to roll it into the container with the others.

We all stood there in shock before someone said, "Close it! They might get out."

I helped my people close the container, hearing the calm cooing of the pokeys from inside. I leaned against it, thinking about what I just saw before turning to one of the citizens standing next to me, "They're kinda like us. Go back for their own, if they can."

The man I spoke to nodded, "They have a good system sir. Anyway, we need to get them to London ASAP."

"Yes, we do!" I cawed, "To the closest airport, tell NC she has nothing to worry about!"

The helicopter, which was sitting to the side this entire time, started up as my citizens quickly made sure the ropes were securly fixed, and made sure the container was snugly closed.

As I boarded the helicopter, I looked at the container one last time – praying it wouldn't get loose and kill the pokeys.

Once we were flying, I pulled my radio out and told all of my other nations, "I have sucessfully gathered the pokeys, Arthur, I'm arriving in London on a plane."

"Right." Arthur replied. "Be careful, they have flying Koopas over Peter's house."

"Oh no..." I said.

* * *

****Ugh, short chapter! I couldn't think of any other way America could get the pokeys! Anyway, I don't actually know much about pokeys, so I decided to just make them kinda playful and chasing, but yet they care about each other. And yes, I do have a NC personification, but I'm not gonna use her much. (I love North Carolina; it's very pretty in the mountains.) Onto the next chapter, and I hope you enjoyed this one! Anything bothering you, say so! ****


	4. Toad In The Republic of Latvia

****OMG the hero has captured his pokeys! Nothing can go wrong now, right? Wrong... ****

"They spotted him running around Riga, but I'm not so sure if he's still there..."

"I-if he is, d-do you think I could have some b-back up?"

"Of course, we're not gonna make you go after him all by yourself."

We stopped talking, one of my military men driving me towards my captial while he gave me the details about the poor character that got stuck in my house.

"Mr. Latvia, if we don't succeed in catching this... character, what will –?"

"There is no "not succeeding" about it." I snapped before starting to shake again, "B-but if w-we do fail, I-I'm probably gonna call on P-Peter..."

"Mr. Lativa, Mr. Sealand has problems of his own right now."

I gasped, "You mean Peter's got attacked?"

"Flying Koopa Troopas I believe." My driver sighed, "I think he's managing, although I –"

I started to tune him out after he said "Flying Koopa Troopas". What are those anyway? I've never seen them, unless he means Paratroopa.

With that feeling of queasyness in my stomach, I pulled my legs up into the seat and looked out the window – staring at the trees as they rushed by. I felt it would be nice to just have my dirver pull over, so that way I could get out and stretch my legs for a while.

"C-can we stop for a minute?" I asked.

My driver sighed, "Five minute driving recess." He muttered, pulling to the side of the road, "I hope it's to just walk, and not anything else."

"No sir. I haven't eaten anything today."

"You'll need to do so when we get to Riga."

We hopped out of the car, stretching and walking around for a few seconds before I decided that I wanted to pick up something to play with in the car. I kept in sight of my military man, passing through the first row of trees to find a branch to peel the bark-like skin off of, reaching for the shortest one.

Just as I grabbed the branch, I heard someone yell "Gwah!" and a thud on the other side of the tree.

Quickly, I looked, not seeing anything but a glimpse of something running to the other side of the tree – my side. Cautiously, I started to walk around, thinking that it was just a bird or something that had used the bathroom nearby.

"Mr. Latvia, let's go!" My military man slash driver appeared, "What's taking you? We're going onto six minutes."

"J-just a minute sir, I heard something." I was standing on the left side of the tree from where he could see me, "One last look –"

I heard someone break a stick with their foot, my driver tensed up and started walking over as I turned around.

There, standing behind me – and so... _short_ – was the character I was looking for.

At first, Toad and I just stared at each other; then he screamed. Which caused me to scream back, which caused him to scream – and started a screaming chain for five seconds.

"Freeze!" My military man held a gun at Toad, "Put your arms up and surrender!"

Toad made a sound of shock before running away from us.

"A-after him!" I cried, using my running practice (...Russia isn't the one to blame, what are you talking about?) to chase after Toad. "Don't shoot him or let him out of your sight!"

It took me a minute to catch up to Toad, keeping behind him for a while. He looked funny when he ran, occasionally stumbling and slowing down a little bit.

Each time, I caught up, little by little, until he turned his head to look behind him. Toad screeched again before speeding up.

"Wait!" I panted, starting to get tired, "I want to help you!"

"Don't trust you; you probably did something with Mario!" Toad's scratchy voice called back, and after he did he sped up some more.

"I can take you to him!" I tried.

"Nope!"

Frustrated, I looked to see if my military man was still following – and saw him only a few feet behind me.

I threw my arm out to the right, hoping he'd get my message – thankfully he did, I saw him run in that direction as he passed me and Toad.

Now, Toad, as I think, may not have good distance judging. I say this because, up ahead, was a steep drop down into a small valley with more trees. As I saw it come into sight, I slowed down so I wouldn't be falling head over heels down the hill.

Toad wasn't so lucky. As soon as he realized that there was a steep drop he was falling – I watched as he bounced around and down, grunting in pain each time.

I wasn't worried until he hit the bottom, where he stopped moving.

I started down after him, "Toad!"

"Mr. Latvia, be cautious!" My military man was doing the same as I was, "I wouldn't want to carry two injured people back to the car!"

After feeling the rocks and dirt bite my butt (literally), I was stumbling off the drop and towards Toad – did I mention he was my favorite Mario character?"

Military man was right next to me as we both stopped and looked at Toad, he didn't seem to be moving. I knelt down, lightly grabbing his shoulder and shaking him, "M-Mr. Toad?"

He didn't do anything.

"Toad?"

Nothing.

"Toad?"

Still nothing.

'Toad, yo Toad." Military man tried.

Nothing.

"Toad? Mr. Toad?"

OK, was he dead or not?

Military man pulled out his water bottle from one of his deep pockets (why he wore those pants today I do not know) and poured water onto Toad's face. When he still didn't stir, he tried again, and again, and again.

After the bottle was empty, I swallowed, "I think he's dead."

"It wouldn't be our fault, Mr. Latvia." Military man sounded annoyed, "He tripped, and we didn't push him."

"B-but we chased him!"

"Good shrooms, where am I…?"

Looking back at Toad, sitting up and rubbing the water from his face, I sighed with relief. "He isn't dead."

"Who ain't dead?" Toad turned to us, before gasping, "Not Toadette! Or Mario! Or the Princess!" he stood up, lunging towards me and grabbing my shirt collar, "Where are they? Do you know?"

"You'll have to come with me." I said, "I can explain while we take you to London – where you can go home."

"I want to find everyone else first!" Toad spat.

"Mr. Toad, let's start this over. I'm Raivis Galante – Latvia. You're just outside the capital, Riga, while everyone else is in all the other countries. Ms. Hungary is looking for Toadette, Mr. Romano is looking for Mario, and Mr. Poland is looking for the Princess." I hoped that would calm him down enough to where he would agree to go with us.

Toad looked at me, to military man, back at me, and repeated that several times before he whispered, "Is he gonna be with us?"

I gave a small laugh, "He'll be driving us."

"Oh."

Slowly but carefully, we climbed back up the drop and went towards the car, along the way Toad asked questions about why we were split up into countries and not kingdoms (which, I explained, countries are ruled by a monarchy making them a kingdom, but are still called countries), and if I heard from anyone else.

"I heard from Mr. America that he got the Pokeys."

"Ah, he shoulda left them!"

"Well, we don't like Pokeys either, Toad."

"Is that it?"

"Aside from Paratroopas attacking Sealand – Peter!" I gasped, "I haven't checked on Peter!"

Good thing, we were almost to the car, so I sprinted the rest of the way and hopped inside the car, grabbing up the radio and reported, "This is Latvia to all, I have got Toad – h-how's Sealand?"

Peter's voice came over, along with some shouting in the background, "Raivis! Send help! They're taking me – ahhhh!"

Toad screeched, "Oh no, the Paratroopas got him! He's probably being taken to Bowser as we speak!"

Well, during my panic attack, I blacked out.

* * *

****Shoot me, another short chapter. I couldn't wait to get to Latvia, so he was next in line. Guess who's next? Comments on improvement, awesomeness, or questions are welcome. **


	5. Paratroopa & The Principality of Sealand

****OMG I must make you guys read about Peter nao! Peter is not going to die, just so ya know. Just kidding. He's gonna die. No he's not – yes he is, no, yes, no yes – IDK. Fight the Paratroopas Peter! ****

With binoculars aimed right at the sky, I watched as those dumb headed Paratroopas started to come to my house and threaten my security. The leader – who kept on shouting back at another Paratroopa, was easy to spot with huge sunglasses on.

I didn't like him.

"OK, are we ready?" I turned to two of my citizens, both standing there while holding guns. "We're gonna capture all of these guys and send them to Jerk Arthur's house!"

"We get that, Mr. Sealand." One of them said.

"Where are the other two?" I asked, talking about my citizens.

"They're getting the net ready, Mr. Sealand."

"Good!" We knelt down lower to hide ourselves behind our new shipment of supplies; I peeked around and saw the Paratroopas land.

"OK, here's the plan. Get the country and take him to Bowser. Simple enough for you?" The boss said.

"Question." Another Paratroopa raised his hand, "If we're the ones caught before we catch the country, what will happen to us?"

I turned to my backups, nodding at them before I charged out screaming – "You'll pay the price for trying to attack the Great Sealand, desu yo!"

I underestimated the number of Paratroopas there were – I thought maybe five or six, but it turned out thirteen.

"There! Get him!" The boss pointed at me, and a couple of Paratroopas shot forward.

I doubled back, "Be careful, they've got a good army!" I called to my citizens as they jumped out from behind the supplies crates.

Our plan was simple – take all the Paratroopas to the west side of my house and catch them in a really complicated net system. We only made three net systems though, so I'd have to figure out a way to get these two and the other eleven caught without using all the nets with a few left over.

As I ran, the Paratroopas flew behind me, not very fast.

"Hey kid! Get back here!" One of them called.

"Slow down! I've been flying for almost a day and I really need a break!" the other wailed.

I laughed, "Sorry, but the Great Sealand never surrenders, desu yo!" I ran faster while looking behind me, watching as one Paratroopa hit his head on one of the beams hanging from the roof over the walkway.

The other one slowed down to help him regain his ability to fly, so I slowed down to keep up with them. Meanwhile I pulled out my radio and spoke through it, "This is Sealand, I am currently in the process of capturing the Paratroopas!"

"Be careful Peter." I heard Mama – _ahem_ Tino – say, "If you need help Alfred's flying over in helicopter with the Pokeys."

"Yes I am! Don't worry Peter! I'm on my way!" Alfred called.

"Thanks, but I think I've got it." I turned the corner to the west side, the Paratroopas following behind closely, "I'm just about to catch two of them!"

I passed the first net system, watching as the Paratroopas' heads caught on the string that snapped, dropping a chain net on top of them and stopping their chase.

One of them sputtered from under the net, "H-hey kid! Free us, a-and we'll leave you alone!"

"Nah, I'd rather not." I laughed before running to the south side of my house.

There, I had to move out of the way of all of my four citizens running – all the other Paratroopas chasing them. I thought this was going to be an easy break, all of the Paratroopas caught in two nets!

But of course, three of them turned and started towards me just as I relaxed. That three included the leader.

"There he is! Get him!"

I gasped before running down the south side – planning on making a circle. I then radioed, "Alfred, I need your help!"

"I'm trying Peter, but I just got a message from Mattie saying he needs help!"

"Non cher! You go help Peter, I will help Mathieu!"

"I thought you had to catch that stick man, wine face!"

One Paratroopa's hand grazed my hat as he tried to grab me. Giving a small yelp of surprise, I bolted forward and continued, "Alfred, I have to deal with _flying_ enemies!"

"Yes you do kid!" I looked over my shoulder, the boss Paratroopa right behind me.

"No grabbing!" I sharply turned onto the east side, "It's rude! Wait your turn!"

"I don't need to wait, I can't wait!" The boss shouted.

His other two Paratroopas sped up to get me – and these were _quick_ ones. I had to jump into one of the rooms to keep from getting caught. Those two Paratroopas flew right past me like a bullet and towards north side, screaming as they hit a stack of empty cargo crates.

I laughed at them, enjoying my little break before I saw the boss slowing down as he eyed me. "You're a witty boy." He muttered, grabbing at the air as I dodged him.

"Thank you sir!" I ducked below him and started running back down the east side to the south side.

"Mr. Sealand!" One of my citizens radioed, "We've gotten all of the Paratroopas!"

"Not the boss!" I radioed back. "He's after me!"

"Give up kid!" the boss grabbed the back of my shirt, but I managed to punch him from the bottom of his chin and continue running.

"Never, I'm the Great Sealand!"

I ran from the south side to the west side, passing by the nets of dazed Paratroopas and my citizens firing shots at their boss. Sadly, he dodged them all while kicking one citizen over the rail.

I looked over my shoulder and gasped, "You idiot! Look at what you did!"

The boss cackled, "I don't give two shells about the people here – just doing my job!"

"This is Latvia to all; I have got Toad – h-how's Sealand?"

Raivis! I forgot how Raivis could easily be worried over the simplest of things, I was about to send back that I was just being chased.

But I had slowed down, again, so whenever I was snatched from the ground and up I freaked out, "Let me go! "Raivis! Send help! They're taking me – ahhhh!"

The boss flew over the railing with me, laughing as he said; "Enjoy the view of your pretty ocean boy!"

"Take me back, give up! We're trying to send you home! Take me back and get in the nets with your other Paratroopas!" I demanded as we flew upward – higher and higher – almost as high as the first cloud!

"Nope, ain't gonna do it." The Paratroopa replied.

"Do – it – now!" I started kicking around and swinging, making the boss' grip on me harder to control.

"Hey, kid, stop it, you're gonna make me drop you and I won't catch you in time!"

I kept on kicking, "Shut up! I'll keep on kicking if I want to!"

"Why's that kid, ya wanna die?"

"Nope!" I swung myself one more time before he let go, "I hear helicopter blaaaaaaades!"

* * *

****Dun. Dun. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Dang it, I hate making short chapters! It feels like its long as I type it but when I go over it again it's SHORT! Ugh! All types of comments are welcome. ****


	6. Waluigi Vs The French Republic

****Hello, my people! I'm sorry I haven't updated this is forever, but I've not felt like typing on this lately. I know, the only Hetalia-Mario crossover in the section and you haven't seen a new chapter in… *counts on fingers* three months? Four? No, five! Uh… IDK.**

**Anyway, I'm typing this at school right now, and this chapter we have France! And… another… guy… **  
_**

Paris! The wonderful city – the best in the world, in the country of Romance!

Or so, I figure, and self-claim, hon hon hon!

But I had to stop boasting; someone was running around and scaring everyone indoors. I could only sigh as I met up with one of my citizens and listen to them talk.

So far, my search was unsuccessful, as it was tiring. I could've gone for a few glasses of wine at that time, but I wanted to be fully sober whenever I finally got my grip on the character ruining this lovely day, in Paris!

"Of course, he's running around with explosives. I saw a bomb in his hand."

I gasped, "A bomb? In Paris? Mon Dieu!"

My citizen nodded, "I'd be careful Mr. France. I'd hate for you to get injured."

"Of course, of course." I said, hurriedly walking away, "Get somewhere safe!"

I went a few blocks, checking every alley I passed and looked behind almost anything he could be hiding. Meanwhile, I heard Alfred call over the radio that he had just gotten his Pokeys, and a warning about Peter being ambushed by Paratroopas.

"Poor child." I muttered.

Police were soon joining me in my search, a couple of them following me as I told them the situation.

"Have you played Mario games lately?" I asked them.

"I have, Mr. France." One of them replied.

"Good, good. Now, we are after one of the anti-heroes. He's got a bomb as well, so I'm really worried."

The two policemen started to stare at me with wide eyes, "B-bomb, sir?"

"Yes." I looked around, "He could have plans to bomb the Eiffel Tower, or even worse, all of Paris!"

The policeman coughed, "I don't think that's possible with one bomb sir. He might have one only from his world and not from the Middle East."

"I should hope!" I panicked. "If he does we're in huge trouble!"

"I'm sure he's not working for the Middle East."

"Of course, why would he be?"

"You may never know." He shrugged, "It could happen. They're nothing but computerized –"

"Ahem." I interrupted, "I think not, in this case. We're just after him; take him to England if you catch him. And help me if you hear me scream." I quickly trotted away, "Don't kill him or hurt him either!"

After that was when I started my official search – after having sauntered around seeing how bare Paris looked without people around. Street after street I walked, looking behind some cars and trash cans every so often, prepared for a fight with a man that was literally nothing but skin and bone! Well, he looked anorexic in the games; I mean he must really worry about his looks. Maybe if he took tips from _me _he'd look –

I stopped thinking just as I passed some crates, probably the biggest line up on the streets (guess we got some food imports, I didn't bother to look). I swore I heard something move, something was behind them! It had to be him! I smiled like an idiot before I proceeded to speak, "Come out, Mon Chèr, there is nothing to be afraid of!"

I heard him scoff. Haha! I had him cornered! This was so easy, I'm sure Arthur was having many more problems than I was right now.

"I'm being honest here. I know you really want to go home." I slowly walked around the crates to where I was standing on the left side of them, keeping my body low incase he would peek through a crack and see me. "So if you just come out slowly, I'll assure you no harm. You just need to come out, and speak to me…"

Heard him grunt as he slammed against the crates, aiming to crush me underneath them I suppose. Just as I looked up, a few boxes were teetering over my head before they slowly started to come down towards me – oh Mon Dieu!

I leaped forward out of the way, just as the crates slammed down onto the ground and cracking open behind me. Meanwhile, my prey started to jump up against the crates, aiming to crush me underneath them. I had to jump forward again, tearing my knee on the ground and nearly dodging splinters.

"I'm not stupid like they make me out to be! I know what you're going to do!"

I rolled out of the way of more falling crates before I managed to stand up, "What is that then?" I called back, jogging backwards to try and find a way to the side he was on.

"You should know! You're one of them aren't you?" he pushed into another stack of crates, but I was already five feet away from where it was going to land.

"One of whom?" I called back, starting to get confused.

"Nations! The nations who are trying kill _us_!" Another stack pushed over, almost hit me this time!

"We're not trying to kill you, Mon Chèr! You're misunderstanding!"

I finally reached the end of the crates, swinging around to the other side of the crates to confront this character. "If I'm to correct you, you're the one trying to kill me!"

It was funny, seeing him skid to a halt right before me, and if he wasn't any skinnier he would have knocked into me from not having enough weight to hold him. His face – I wanted to chuckle - was full of nothing but shock at the sight of me (I'm so handsome that he had to, am I not? Anyway...).

"Trying to crush a man, that's considered attempted murder in this world!" I spat at him, quickly getting over my need for humor.

He just made a fist and narrowed his eyes. "You really think I'm stupid, don't you? I know that's considered murder, it's like that everywhere! I'm defending myself, that's what I'm doing. Wah!" He shot a kick at my gut, getting me right square on.

I wrapped my arms around myself, kneeling down in pain while grimacing. "You… bastard…" I managed before my head was thrown to the side, instant pain residing in my cheekbone.

Idiot just… punched me!

"I'm not a bastard! I'm Waluigi, so screw you!" he spat once again, laughing at me as I hit the ground hard.

After lying for a minute to catch my breath (and not almost cry, mind you), I slowly sat up while I replied weakly, "I thought you would've been a little more pleasant to be around…"

"Being pleasant is for idiots, bâtard!" Waluigi snorted, turning on his heel while kicking some grime from the street at me. "Hope you enjoy your street muck, rat!"

Oh, I lost it right there.

Maybe little Canada taught me a thing or two about tackling people last time I saw him beat down his brother, because I believe that if anyone saw me I would have done exactly what Matthew would have.

I sat there and watched as Waluigi continued to stroll away; still laughing like this was hilarious. I thought he was trying to stay alive in our world? No matter, I was getting angrier and angrier the longer I sat there and watched him.

Just as I felt my head throbbing with rage, I was off the ground, sprinting towards the stickman while giving my wonderfully loud war cry.

By the time Waluigi had turned around, I hit him hard and tackled him.

Into the water next to where all those crates were.

Of course, I'll skip the details about me kicking his face, so hard he was out like a light – he was a great swimmer though. My police force must've heard me from wherever they were, because when I appeared out of the surface of the water with Waluigi's arm in my hand, they were already diving in to come help us.

"M-Mr. France!" A policeman ran over to me while I sat on the sidewalk, towel draped around my shoulders. "I have terrible news!"

I sat up straight, "What is it? Speak!" in the background I saw the policemen dragging Waluigi towards a car.

"You may have gotten Waluigi," I was told, "b-but that bomb-omb he had is already in London, and who knows whether or not Arthur wants to open a package right now!"


End file.
